Most leaders believe they’re giving helpful feedback. But too often, what they think is constructive comes across as demoralizing, ineffective or outright damaging. The difference? The best leaders don’t just give feedback — they coach, communicate with care, and create an environment where employees feel seen, heard and valued.

Gallup and Workhuman research shows that employees who receive valuable feedback are five times more engaged and 57% less likely to experience burnout. Yet too many leaders fall into the trap of delivering feedback in a way that crushes morale instead of driving improvement.

The solution? Feedback needs to be an ongoing, trust-based conversation, not a one-time critique. It must be framed as coaching, not criticism, and delivered in a way that accounts for more than just words. Your tone, body language, facial expressions and energy play just as big a role as the message itself.

Here’s how to be more effective at giving feedback — step by step.

Related: Employee Feedback Is Only Effective If It’s Done Right. Here’s How to Make Sure It Lands.

Step 1: Shift your mindset — feedback is a gift, not a gotcha

Leaders often hesitate to give honest feedback for fear of being seen as negative. But avoiding feedback doesn’t create a culture of psychological safety; it creates a culture of guessing and stagnation. The best employees want to grow, and they need clear, constructive input to do so.

Key shift: Move from a criticism mindset to a coaching mindset. Think of your team as business athletes. Just as elite performers rely on coaches to refine their skills, employees need guidance, encouragement and practical ways to improve.

Ask yourself:

When you see feedback as an investment in someone’s success, it changes the way you show up.

Step 2: Presence and delivery matter more than you think

The most overlooked part of feedback? How you show up.

Your body language, vocal range, gaze and facial expressions all send a message before you say a word. To curate a warm and inviting atmosphere conducive to accepting constructive feedback, adopt an open posture, connect visually, show concern and care with facial expressions that are authentic and congruent to what you’re saying, and use a conversational tone and cadence. Otherwise, they may feel tension, judgment or discomfort instead.

You silently communicate to the world all day through your body language and presence. Be intentional about how you are perceived. Convey, instead of betray, your message.

Key shift: Feedback isn’t just about what you say but how you make people feel. You need to be fully present, engaged and emotionally attuned.

What to do:

• Make eye contact: Remove distractions and see the person in front of you; stay “on gaze!” Not in an intimidating way, but with warmth and attentiveness.

• Adopt an open posture: To signal partnership as opposed to power, face your employee with open arms and gestures that invite conversation, seated at the same level.

• Mind your facial expressions: Are you showing genuine curiosity and care or unintentionally conveying frustration?

• Be intentional with your vocal delivery: Vary your pitch and pace. Speak as you would in conversation. Too fast or too slow, too high-pitched or too low-pitched, and your message may be misunderstood.

Effective leaders don’t only plan what they’ll say; they are also intentional about their presence or how they “show up.”

Ask yourself:

• Is my nonverbal communication reinforcing my message, or undermining it?

• Am I making this a safe, productive space for the other person to engage?

Related: Your Words Only Tell a Fraction of the Story — Here’s Why Tone and Body Language Actually Matter More

Step 3: Start with strengths, not weaknesses

Too often, feedback begins with what’s wrong rather than what’s working. But neuroscience shows that people are more open to feedback when they feel seen, valued and capable.

Starting with acknowledgment sets a positive tone and reinforces that feedback is coming from a place of support. “I always like to start conversations by sharing how my team members’ strengths have had a positive effect on our business outcomes,” says Kristi Snyder, Chief People Officer at Enthuse Marketing Group. Framing the conversation around strengths helps both parties enter the discussion with a constructive, growth-oriented mindset.

Key shift: Flip the traditional feedback approach. Start with acknowledgment before diving into areas for improvement.

What to say:

By opening with a question, you create a loop of engagement rather than a top-down critique. Employees get to explain their thinking first, which makes them far more receptive to guidance.

Step 4: Ask more, tell less

Great leaders use feedback as an opportunity to understand before they correct. Instead of leading with here’s what you did wrong, try leading with curiosity.

Key shift: Replace statements with open-ended questions to uncover insights and encourage self-reflection.

What to ask:

• “What was your thought process behind this approach?”

• “What challenges did you run into?”

• “How do you think we could refine this?”

By letting employees talk first, you gather context, acknowledge their thinking and collaborate on solutions rather than dictate them. Approaching situations like this makes sure employees feel heard and increases buy-in.

A reminder: Acknowledgment is NOT agreement. Giving employees space to explain their reasoning allows leaders to correct misunderstandings while still respecting their perspective.

Step 5: Deliver feedback with directness and care

Feedback shouldn’t be sugarcoated, but it also shouldn’t feel like an attack. The secret? Balance directness with care.

Key shift: Avoid vague platitudes (“You did great”) and harsh bluntness (“This was bad”). Instead, use clear, actionable and supportive language.

What to say:

• Instead of “Your presentation was weak,” try: “I see the effort you put in. Let’s strengthen the data to make it even more compelling.”

• Instead of “You handled that customer situation poorly,” try: “I appreciate how you followed the process. Let’s explore ways to make it more adaptable.”

Related: How to Give Constructive Feedback That Actually Empowers Others

Step 6: Follow up and reinforce progress

The biggest mistake leaders make? Giving feedback once and never revisiting it. Without reinforcement, even the best feedback fades into the background.

Key shift: Feedback shouldn’t be a one-time event — it should be an ongoing dialogue.

What to do:

• Circle back in a week to see what’s changed.

• Recognize progress (even small wins) to reinforce learning.

• Keep feedback alive in regular conversations, not just performance reviews.

Great leaders don’t go it alone

The most remarkable leaders and elite performers lean on coaches to hone their skills. Many of the most effective leaders actively work with executive coaches to refine their ability to deliver impactful feedback. They recognize that feedback is an art — one that can be mastered with guidance, practice and expert insight.

Feedback is meant to bring people closer and move the organization forward, but it must be delivered expertly. Mastering feedback isn’t just about what you say — it’s about how you say it and how it makes people feel. Whether you’re a seasoned executive or an emerging leader, investing in expert coaching can elevate your ability to guide, inspire and develop your team.

Feedback is your leadership superpower. Use it wisely.