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The Precarious Life of Dual Unemployed Parents (DUPs)

With a likely recession and potentially stagflation on the horizon, I suspect many more families will join us as DUPs: Dual Unemployed Parents. Mass layoffs and company shutdowns will ripple through the economy.

According to USA Facts, there were approximately 38 million single-income households in 2022. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there were about 10.9 million one-parent family groups with children under 18 in 2022. While the exact number of single-income households with children is not directly reported, this figure highlights the prevalence of single-parent families.

The quick math highlights that if 5% – 10% of them get laid off in the next recession, we’re talking an increase of at least 550,000 to 1.09 million new involuntary DUPs. Given there are plenty of households who co-habitate and are not officially married, the numbers are likely higher.

To help households who might find themselves in a similar situation, I wanted to share our experience. I’ll discuss our biggest concerns as DUPs since 2017 and how we manage to survive bear markets, recessions, and even self-inflicted wounds from our own government.

What Are Dual Unemployed Parents (DUPs)?

DUPs are households where both parents are without traditional jobs. These families face the challenge of raising children and managing household expenses without the stability of regular paychecks.

Some parents become DUPs involuntarily due to job loss. Others become DUPs by choice—part of the FIRE movement—opting to retire early, forsake maximum earnings, and focus on family life.

If you choose the DUP life, it’s because you value time with your kids more than job security, status, or money. But there’s no denying the financial risk and stress involved. It can be extremely hard to stay DUPs, especially during a downturn.

That’s why many in the FIRE community with kids still rely on one working spouse, who brings in steady income, healthcare, and retirement benefits. Some retired men with working wives call their situation WIFI, which stands for Wife Financial Independence. As more women become primary breadwinners, WIFI has become more common.

Becoming an involuntary DUP is a precarious position to be in. Here are some potential negative repercussions if both parents are unemployed for too long.

The Potential Repercussions Of A Dual Unemployed Parent Household

Financial Strain: Unemployment for both parents can lead to significant financial difficulties, making it hard to cover basic needs like housing, food, and healthcare. If both are unemployed long enough, this could lead to multi-generational cycle of poverty.

Child Development: Studies suggest that parental unemployment can negatively affect children’s cognitive, emotional, and social development, especially during early childhood according to the Bureau Of Labor Statistics. Think about all the times you’ve lashed out at your children due to stresses at work.

Educational Outcomes: Unemployment can impact a family’s ability to provide a supportive environment for children’s education, potentially leading to lower school performance and educational attainment according to Oxford Academic. If your kids don’t do well in school, their employment opportunities decline.

Stress and Mental Health: The financial and emotional strain of unemployment can negatively impact the mental health and well-being of both parents and children according to the National Institute Of Health. Ongoing mental stress and anguish as involuntary DUPs is not talked about enough. Depression and even thoughts of suicide can result, as parents feel like there’s no hope.

Parents often experience an indescribable mix of stress, guilt, and shame if they feel they can’t provide. It’s already tough being a single-income household with children in a bear market. But when both parents are out of work, investments are tanking, and friends are getting laid off, it can feel like you’re living through your own version of the Great Depression.

Harder to Be DUPs Than DUNKs

Being a DUP (Dual Unemployed Parents) is at least three times as stressful as being a DUNK (Dual Unemployed, No Kids).

When you only have yourself to worry about, life is simpler. You can cut food expenses—especially important with higher prices post-tariffs—skip the commute, and even crash on a sofa or sleep in a tent if needed. But when you have children to protect, starving them, pulling them out of school, or having them sleep on the floor becomes emotionally unbearable.

It’s the mental pressure of being a provider that really weighs you down. Even parents with the strongest Provider’s Clock may break down after prolonged unemployment. For some men especially, we feel it is our duty to provide. If we cannot properly take care of our family, we can feel like total failures. This perpetual fear of feeling like a fear is one of the main reasons why I have saved so aggressively for so long.

Looking back on my journey, reaching FIRE before having children felt far easier than staying FIRE’d with children in the picture.

American households composition, more than half have no children, but many married parents who will become DUPs as well

How to Survive as Dual Unemployed Parents (DUPs)

The economic damage from this self-inflicted downturn will likely be severe for millions of families. Losing money in your investments is one thing. Having to delay retirement by years is another. But losing your livelihood is the ultimate damage.

Historically, bear markets have averaged a 36% decline and lasted about two years. Your mission is to survive, both emotionally and financially, for at least that long.

History of bear markets - Average bear market decline and duration

Here are some strategies to help you weather the storm. I strongly believe that surviving as DUPs is ~40% getting your mental health right. The demons in your head can overwhelm you if you are not careful.

1) Remind Yourself: “It’s Not My Fault.”

One of the most important things to do when both parents are unemployed is to extend yourself grace. Say it out loud: “It’s not my fault.” Then say it again every day and night as long as you need to.

You likely didn’t cause your company’s losses or make the decision to lay off hundreds of workers. You definitely weren’t the one who decided to purposefully tank the stock market and throw the global economy into a tailspin.

It’s also not your fault that you dollar-cost averaged into your children’s investment accounts or your own—only for the market to keep sliding. Timing the bottom is nearly impossible, and the market will eventually rebound. You were thinking of everyone’s future when you made those investment decisions, sacrificing consumption now for a better tomorrow.

And that spring break family vacation you took before getting laid off? That wasn’t irresponsible—it was a memory-making experience for your kids. You didn’t know what was coming, and you wanted them to enjoy their time.

You are not at fault. Your spouse or partner is not at fault. You’ve both done your best to earn a living and take care of your family.

It is crucial not to blame yourself or each other for the unfortunate situation you’re in. Now is the time to support one another and move forward as a team. Be each other’s rocks. Remember, the marriage vow you may have took, “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”

2) Drill Down On Your Monthly Burn Rate

Now that income has stopped, knowing exactly how much you’re spending becomes mission critical. Pull up your last 3–6 months of expenses and sort them into categories: fixed (mortgage, insurance), variable (groceries, gas), and discretionary (streaming services, takeout, non-essentials).

Slash the discretionary expenses without hesitation. Keep the basics, and look for renegotiation opportunities—think insurance, mobile phone bills, utilities, and even property taxes. Every $100 cut per month is $1,200 saved per year, which may buy you another month of runway when you’re living on reserves.

Use this opportunity to turn budgeting into a teaching moment for your kids. I’ve found that when you take the time to explain why you’re cutting back, children are surprisingly understanding. Instead of just saying “no,” walk them through the reasoning. The next time you tell them you can’t buy something or go somewhere due to the budget, they’ll get it—and there’ll be less resistance.

Even better, make downsizing a team activity. Turn it into a game where everyone pitches in with ideas to save money. When kids feel like they’re part of the solution, they’re more likely to cooperate—and maybe even have some fun along the way.

3) Set Aside “Work Hours” to Find Work

After filing for unemployment, you’ll need to actively search for a job to continue receiving benefits. Set aside one or two hours each morning to focus solely on job hunting.

Finding a job during a recession or stagflation can be particularly challenging due to the surge of highly qualified candidates competing for limited opportunities. Relying solely on job sites is often ineffective—sending out hundreds of resumes might yield only one or two responses.

In a recession, job hunting is a numbers and relationship game. The more effort you put into networking and building connections, the greater your chances of success. That said, given that recessions typically last anywhere from six months to two years, it’s important to mentally commit to a prolonged job search, knowing that it may take time to secure a new opportunity.

Food banks, free school lunch programs, religious organizations, and local mutual aid groups exist for a reason. There’s no shame in asking for help—especially when it can ease your burden as a parent. I’m certain as a Financial Samurai reader, you’ve given way more than you’ve received. It’s time to ask for help when you’re most in need.

If your kids are young, check for free preschool, subsidized childcare, or enrichment programs. For older kids, many community centers offer free or low-cost afterschool care and meals. You should also consider reaching out to other families at your children school too see if you can pull resources or help.

The more you lean on the village, the longer you can stretch your resources. If you’re not yet an involuntary DUP, please do your best to strengthen your village.

5) Turn Your Skills Into Cash Flow

Even if you’re out of your traditional job, there are likely ways to generate income from home. Offer freelance services online (writing, design, tutoring, coding, etc.). Sell unused items on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace. Rent out a room. Pet sit. House sit. Drive for a delivery service in your spare time.

The goal isn’t to match your previous income. It’s to create some breathing room and feel useful. I’ve done everyone one of these side gigs and my wife has taught violin lessons. I even took on a part-time job at a startup for four months after exhausting our liquidity due to a house purchase.

Swallow your pride. You must do anything you can to survive. Several hundred dollars a month here and there can cover groceries or offset healthcare premiums. The more side hustle income you can earn as DUPs, the greater your chances for a recovery as the economy eventually rebounds.

6) Barter and Swap With Other Families

In lean times, social capital becomes even more important. But in order to have social capital, you must be a kind and helpful person in your community. If you aren’t DUPs yet, consider doing more volunteer work and participating more in your children’s school activities.

Trade babysitting with a neighbor so both sets of parents get some sanity time. Lend out tools or toys in exchange for groceries or help fixing something. Pool bulk buys (like Costco trips) to lower costs for all. Car pool. When cash is tight, barter systems and trusted relationships can help keep you afloat.

In a recession, most families are losing money. Therefore, given they’re all in the same boat, most families would be happy to find ways to help each other out to save time and money.

7) Reframe Your Time Off As a Gift With Your Children

Yes, the stress of both of you not having jobs is real, but try reframing the unexpected break as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Your kids are only little once. You will likely never get this concentrated family time again. That doesn’t mean you ignore financial survival, but emotionally, this shift in mindset can prevent resentment from growing in your household.

Turn after-school walks into teachable nature lessons. Make cooking and cleaning a family event. Read together every night. Volunteer at as many school events as possible. Explore your local sites when your kids have school breaks. You may be hurting for money, but you’re rich in time, an asset many working parents don’t get.

As older parents, we chose the DUP life to make up for lost time. One of my regrets is having children about four years later than I would’ve liked. But sometimes biology and life get in the way. Those four extra years mean I’ll likely have four fewer years with them on the backend of life, which is why I’m now doing everything I can to be there for them now.

Surprisingly, the quest to make up for lost time has been easier than expected, mainly because kids today have so much time off from school. With 48 days off per year excluding summer break for our school, it sometimes feels like we’re going on family trips. So if you’re worried that FIRE’ing with kids will crimp your retirement lifestyle, don’t be. It might not be nearly as restrictive as you imagine.

As a DUP, I firmly believe you will cherish the time you have with your kids far more than you will appreciate having more money. Remember during COVID lockdowns? How awesome was that to be able to develop so much quality time with your little ones? Priceless!

8) Get Comfortable With “Good Enough” Parenting

You may feel guilty for not being able to provide everything your children had before, or everything you hoped they would have. But remember: stability, attention, and love go a lot further than enrichment classes or brand-name shoes.

Your kids will remember how you made them feel during this time, not whether they got an iPad upgrade or went to a fancy camp. Instead of paying $80/hour for private lessons, you can become Coach Daddy or Coach Mommy since you have time.

Importantly, do your best to shield your kids from the sinking feeling that comes with a worsening economy and a falling stock market. They’re perceptive, and they’ll pick up on your stress if it spills over. Kids notice everything, even if they don’t say so.

It’s equally important not to project too much of your fear or sadness onto your spouse. Chances are, they’re carrying just as much fear and uncertainty as you are. In tough times, emotional support and calm leadership go a long way.

My biggest shortcoming as a husband, family finance manager, and personal finance writer is that I’m always on top of the markets—often to a fault. When the stock market is crashing, I feel like Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange, eyes pried open by lid locks, forced to watch the carnage unfold.

I want to look away, to relax and tune out, but I just can’t. One is because I’m responsible for keeping our finances afloat. Two because I want to provide the best value in my free weekly newsletter to help my readers. And that constant exposure can sour my mood and strain my relationship with my wife.

9) Stay in the Market, Even if It Hurts

If you’re in a decent cash position, resist the urge to sell your investments out of fear. Staying the course is one of the hardest things to do in a downturn, but it’s what ultimately helps you build wealth over time. Bear markets are when millionaires are quietly made.

Even if you can only invest a little, keep dollar-cost averaging into your retirement and kids’ 529, Roth IRA, and custodial accounts. You’ll thank yourself when the recovery eventually comes. Just remind yourself that you only need to survive for about two years and -36% drawdowns on average until better days return.

Percentage chance for positive stock market returns by duration in the market — Time in the market is more important than timing the market

10) Prepare to Plan And Pivot Together

Discuss what Plan B (or C or D) looks like. Can one parent go back to work sooner than planned? Is relocation on the table? Could you downsize temporarily to free up capital? Having open, honest conversations—without judgment—can be a major relief and foster teamwork during a very isolating period.

When I left the workforce in 2012, I worried I had just made one of the biggest financial mistakes of my life. Even with a severance package in hand, I second-guessed walking away from a six-figure job at age 34. My wife and I even discussed selling our home and downsizing to a much smaller two-bedroom rental that cost 60% less. We put our house on the market in 2012, but fortunately, there were no takers as we scouted for cheaper rentals.

Since we couldn’t find a reasonable buyer, we pivoted and decided to rent out our garden room for $800–$1,100 a month over several years. At the same time, we created a survival game plan: Live like college students again for the next three years and save as much as possible. If our finances held steady after three years, my wife could also retire early by negotiating her own severance.

Thankfully, the economy recovered, Financial Samurai kept growing, and she was able to negotiate a severance and do part-time consulting with her old firm until our son was born in 2017.

Not everything will go according to plan, but having multiple contingency plans based on different outcomes dramatically increases your odds of surviving as DUPs and eventually thriving. If you have not done so already, please come up with your bear market investment game plan to survive the next one or two years.

I’m Still Stressed In A Bear Market As A Voluntary DUP

You might think that voluntary DUPs (or FIRE parents) are stress-free because their finances were strong enough to retire early with kids or then have kids. However, you’d be wrong for one key reason: the lack of active income as a safety buffer.

Even if you have enough passive income to cover your household’s basic daily expenses, you don’t have a steady cash flow to build up your reserves during extremely difficult times or take advantage of market dips, at least not as much as you may like. As a result, watching the economy struggle can leave you feeling helpless. And nobody wants to feel they can’t do anything to improve a bad situation.

That said, there are ways to address this, like lowering your safe withdrawal rate or picking up a side gig to bolster your funds. But since you’re highly reliant on your investments for survival, seeing your portfolio take a hit can feel especially painful.

My Disappointment Will Be Put To Good Use

My biggest challenge right now is accepting the sight of a year of savings and investment gains disappear in this latest bear market. And things could easily get worse!

Even though I’m well-diversified, the absolute dollar loss is greater than what I experienced during the 2008 Global Financial Crisis. Psychologically, it’s tough to handle, despite a larger net worth. I can’t help but feel disappointed in myself for not being more conservative after two years of incredible gains.

But circling back to point #1 about helping DUPs weather this downturn, I remind myself: this isn’t my fault. I can’t control the exogenous shocks that are wreaking havoc on the economy. What I can control is how I respond and the how I allocate our assets. I’m doing my best with what I’ve got, and I won’t quit on my family—because I can’t.

So you see, even if you think you have enough money to take care of your family, you will likely always worry.

Final Thoughts Of The DUPs Lifestyle

Whether by choice or circumstance, being a DUP demands emotional resilience, financial discipline, and a strong sense of family unity.

But here’s the truth: your kids aren’t keeping score. They don’t care about your job title, your income, or your investment returns. They just want you – your presence, your love, and your attention. And in a strange way, this economic downturn might become the very chapter that brings your family closer than ever before.

Stay strong. Stay connected. Take it one day at a time. The storm will pass. And when it does, I believe you’ll look back and feel grateful for all the quality time you shared with your little ones.

Readers, are any of you DUPs? If so, how did your household become one—voluntary or involuntary? How do you stay positive as a DUP during a recession? What are some other strategies to help dual no-income households survive tough times and make the most of life despite the challenges?

If you’re looking for an easy way to review your investment asset allocation and x-ray your stock portfolios for excessive fees, check out Empower. I’ve been using them since 2012 and they have one of the best free tools for analyzing your portfolio.

To expedite your journey to financial freedom, join over 60,000 others and subscribe to the free Financial Samurai newsletter. Financial Samurai is among the largest independently-owned personal finance websites, established in 2009. Everything is written based on firsthand experience and expertise because money is too important to be left up to pontification.

If you want to build more wealth than 93% of the population, pick up a copy of my upcoming bestseller, Millionaire Milestones: Simple Steps To Seven Figures.

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The Most Common Tax Planning Mistakes For High Earners

If my posts on the mistake of chasing value stocks or the need to invest big money to make life-changing money don’t resonate, consider hiring a financial professional to manage your portfolio. You may not be obsessed enough to consistently invest the amount needed to retire comfortably. Offloading the burden of investing frees up your time and energy to focus on work, family, and hobbies.

At this moment, I’m preparing to do my taxes again. Every year I file an extension (Oct 15 deadline) because of delayed K-1s from private fund investments. So when Empower reached out about highlighting tax planning mistakes for high earners, I agreed. It’s a topic I know all too well.

What I didn’t realize is that Empower offers tax planning as part of its standard client service. No extra invoices, no $300/hour CPA bills. Just integrated advice, included in the management fee. Considering that taxes are often the single largest expense for high-income earners, having proactive strategy baked in is a big deal.

The Importance Of Tax Planning For High Income Earners

When you’re a high earner—think $250,000+ income or the potential to get there—you’ve probably got a lot on your plate: investments, real estate, maybe a business or two. What you might not be paying enough attention to? Tax planning.

It’s not sexy like a moonshot AI stock, but the compounding effect of smart, consistent tax moves can rival investment returns over time. As Empower Personal Wealth specialist Scott Hipp, CPA, CFP® explains, for high-income, high-net-worth clients, tax planning isn’t about chasing one-off loopholes, it’s about proactive, coordinated, year-round strategy.

Let’s dive into four key questions Scott answered that reveal just how much value smart tax planning can deliver. If you’re searching for a financial professional to manage your wealth, choosing one that integrates tax planning into their service is essential, not an add-on.

Empower has been a long-time affiliate partner of Financial Samurai, and I personally consulted for Personal Capital (later acquired by Empower) from 2013 to 2015. I’ve seen firsthand how incorporating tax strategy into wealth management can meaningfully boost long-term returns.

1. Why is tax planning critical for high earners?

When you’re in the top federal tax brackets—32%, 35%, or 37%—every strategic move counts more. Saving 1% on taxes for someone making $100K is nice. Saving 1% for someone making $800,000? That’s four first-class tickets to Hawaii with a couple thousand left over.

Scott says most people think of tax planning as a once-a-year scramble or a hunt for magical loopholes (“I heard Uncle Bob pays zero taxes because he made his dogs employees…”). The truth: the biggest gains come from small, consistent, legal moves year after year.

It’s like The Shawshank Redemption: pressure and time. Maxing out a health savings account, backdoor Roth contributions, charitable “bunching,” and tax-loss harvesting may seem minor in isolation, but over 20 years, they can carve a serious tunnel toward financial freedom.

Here’s the danger: by the time you file in April, most opportunities are gone. If you’re filing 2025’s taxes in April 2026, your deadline for most strategies was December 31, 2025. That’s why Empower’s team works year-round—advisors and tax specialists meet regularly to tweak and optimize before the clock runs out.

2. What’s the deal with the SALT deduction changes?

The State and Local Tax (SALT) deduction cap got a temporary boost after the passage of The One Big Beautiful Bill Act on July 4, 2025. It’s $40,000 in 2025 (up from $10,000), rising slightly each year until 2029, before reverting in 2030.

Who benefits? Mostly taxpayers with AGI under $500K in high-tax states. Hit $600K AGI, and the expanded cap phases out completely.

But even high earners over $600K aren’t out of luck—if you own a pass-through business (S-corp, partnership, LLC taxed as such), you might use the Pass-Through Entity Tax (PTET) workaround. Here, the business pays state taxes, making them fully deductible federally, and you get a state tax credit. As of 2025, 35+ states have a PTET option.

For the right clients, SALT changes + PTET can unlock deductions worth tens of thousands—money that stays in your portfolio instead of the IRS’s coffers.

3. How does Empower approach complex high-earner situations?

Let’s say you’re a business owner with significant investment income, passive rental income, and real estate holdings.

With Empower, you basically have a “tax specialist on demand” baked into your fee – no surprise bills. The process starts with:

Reviewing the past three years of returns for missed opportunities. (You’ve got three years to amend and claim a refund.) Empower can spot thousands in overlooked deductions.
Holistic planning based on your goals. Tax strategy isn’t in a vacuum—it’s tied to your investment plan, estate goals, and cash flow needs.

Common missed opportunities for self-employed clients:

Not deducting health insurance premiums.
Missing the Qualified Business Income (QBI) deduction.
Ignoring home office deductions.

More common errors Empower can help catch:

Capital loss carryforwards lost when switching preparers/software
Incorrect Backdoor Roth processing
Missed Foreign Tax Credit
Wrong cost basis for stock sales (ESPP, options)
HSA distributions taxed in error

From there, Empower looks forward—maybe setting up a solo 401(k), timing income, or planning capital gains. The idea is to create an ongoing tax playbook, not just fix past mistakes.

4. What real-world tax savings have clients seen?

Missed health insurance deductions are surprisingly common—and costly.

S-Corp owner: CPA added health insurance premiums to W-2 wages (correctly) but never told the client they could deduct those premiums above the line. Amending three years’ returns saved ~$6,000 in federal taxes.
Sole proprietor: Deducted health insurance as a Schedule A itemized deduction, but couldn’t benefit due to medical expense thresholds and not itemizing at all. Amending saved ~$7,500.
Medicare premiums: Many don’t know they qualify as self-employed health insurance deductions. Catching this can save $1,000+ per year.

These aren’t flashy hedge-fund-like wins—but they’re guaranteed returns via tax savings, often compounding over years.

Key Strategies Empower Uses for High Earners

Scott shared a few proactive moves that come up again and again:

Bunching Charitable Contributions

Standard deduction in 2025: $15,750 (single) / $31,500 (married). By combining two or more years of donations into one tax year, you can exceed the standard deduction, itemize that year, and take the standard deduction the next—resulting in a bigger total deduction over time.

Bonus: Donate appreciated assets or use a Donor-Advised Fund for even more efficiency.

Tax Loss Harvesting

Selling investments at a loss to offset gains elsewhere—then reinvesting in similar (but not “substantially identical”) assets—can lower your current-year tax bill while keeping your portfolio allocated. All Empower Personal Strategy clients ($100K+) minimize your tax burden with proactive application of tax-loss harvesting and tax location.

Roth Conversions

Moving funds from a traditional IRA to a Roth IRA lets you lock in today’s tax rate if you expect to be in a higher bracket later. Future withdrawals? Tax-free. This is especially powerful in lower-income years before RMDs kick in.

Saving Money On A Good CPA

A good CPA might charge $150–$400/hour just for tax consultations. Meanwhile, many don’t offer proactive planning at all, focusing instead on compliance and filing.

Empower builds tax planning into its overall wealth management service for clients with $100K+ in investable assets. That means:

One fee, one integrated plan.
Advisors and tax specialists in the same room (or Zoom) all year.
Proactive calls before the deadlines—not “we’ll see you next April.”

The Bottom Line

Big investment wins get the headlines, but year after year, quiet, boring, proactive tax moves can be worth just as much, sometimes more. For high earners, ignoring tax planning is like leaving compounding on the table.

If you’ve got $100K+ in investable assets, Empower is offering Financial Samurai readers a free consultation. Even if you’re confident in your current plan, a second opinion could uncover thousands in missed opportunities.

For a limited time only, book your free, no obligation session here. An Empower professional will review your investments and net worth, and offer some suggestions on where you can optimize, all for free.

Empower’s Tax Optimization Services

Tax optimized investing (tax loss harvesting, tax location, tax efficiency): available to clients investing $100K+.

Tax planning guidance (analysis and recommendations – identify gaps and opportunities in your tax strategy before you file with your advisor and tax specialist): available to $250K+.

At $1M+, clients receive the above, in addition to access to a CPA, at no additional cost.

Disclosure: This statement is provided by Kansei Incorporated (“Promoter”), which has a referral agreement with Empower Advisory Group, LLC (“EAG”). Learn more here.

To expedite your journey to financial freedom, join over 60,000 others and subscribe to the free Financial Samurai newsletter. Financial Samurai is the leading independently-owned personal finance site today, established in 2009.

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How To Eliminate That Intense Financial FOMO You’re Feeling

Back in 2012, I thought I had finally conquered financial FOMO after walking away from a well-paying finance job. But after having children, I’ve noticed more and more relapses. If you’ve found yourself battling the desire for more money than you truly need, this post is for you.

Ever since returning to San Francisco from our 36-day trip to Honolulu, I’ve been feeling a greater sense of FOMO. The first week back hit especially hard when Figma IPOed and surged 333% on its first day. Suddenly, we were right back to frenzied markets, with retail investors piling in at sky-high prices.

In Honolulu, my focus was on mainly three things: 1) family, 2) exercise, and 3) remodeling my parents’ in-law unit. Those three priorities consumed all my bandwidth. Between supercommuting and construction, I was spent most days, with little time left to think about chasing investments.

Pickleball and then the beach were my escape. While waiting for the next game, conversations revolved around recapping rallies, kids, or which store sold the best Pirie mangoes. Careers and investments never came up, except when I asked a couple players about Honolulu’s cost of living. The vibe was refreshingly present, grounded, and calm.

The Return Back Was Somewhat Jolting

I had never taken my family on such a long trip before, so the contrast with life back home was especially clear.

With just the four of us at home, family logistics became simpler, familiar camps smoothed out childcare every other week, and the remodeling burden was finally lifted. With all that mental headspace freed up, my mind inevitably drifted back to the markets and to the unsettling realization that the AI boom was racing ahead without me.

On the pickleball courts here, the chatter couldn’t have been more different. Nearly everyone was talking about tech stocks, the bull market, and the next big AI play. Why? Because nearly everyone either works in tech or invests heavily in it. There was no escaping the mania. I found myself longing for the calmer rhythm of Honolulu again.

The Moment That Reduced My FOMO Tremendously

Then something unexpected happened that broke my financial FOMO fever. The first weekend back home, I went to a neighborhood gathering at a local park. Familiar faces were everywhere, including one dad I occasionally hang out with. He works in venture, so I asked whether he ever felt the same financial FOMO I’d been struggling with since returning.

He shrugged. “Kinda, but not really.” Why would he? He spends his days looking for the next big winner, so opportunities are always flowing across his desk. Though he did mention once passing on a company that went on to be a huge success.

That surprised me. If anyone should feel FOMO, it’s investors who had the chance and said no, far worse than never getting a look at all, which is the reality for most of us. If I never had the opportunity, then there was no missing out in the first place. But it also made sense he didn’t feel much financial FOMO since he was already immersed in the hunt for more.

We kept chatting. He asked how my summer had been, so I shared some stories from our time away. Naturally, I asked about his summer too, expecting to hear about some big trip since his family had traveled a lot before. But instead, he told me they hadn’t gone anywhere. He’d been too busy working. Two months into summer, and he was still grinding away.

That was my “ah hah” moment. Suddenly, my financial FOMO evaporated. Here was someone, at least twice as wealthy as me, stuck at home because of work. It reminded me of my banking days, when I had to ask for permission to take vacation—like a kid asking his parents for pocket money. What a crock!

I’m sure his hard work this summer will make him millions more. But he’s already rich. At our age, I don’t want to sacrifice too much time with my kids for incremental wealth that won’t materially change our lifestyle. 18 summers isn’t a lot. I’ve got enough passive income to cover our family’s basic needs. That freedom, I was reminded, is worth more than chasing the next big score.

The Six Steps To Reducing Your Intense FOMO

Financial FOMO comes from comparison, insecurity about our own progress, and the fear of missing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It tends to peak during bull markets, when it feels like everyone else is getting rich except you.

I’m not sure anybody is truly immune to financial FOMO. You can be wealthy, financially independent, retired, or even work in venture capital, and still feel it. But FOMO left unchecked can push you into bad investment decisions, such as buying at peaks, overextending on margin, or constantly second-guessing yourself.

Here are six tactical yet practical steps that may help you manage FOMO better:

1) Build a Core Portfolio You Rarely Touch

One of the best ways to combat FOMO is to remind yourself that you already own a piece of the future. If you’re invested in equities, real estate, Bitcoin, or venture, you’re covered. Even holding something as simple as the S&P 500 means you’re participating in the ongoing growth of our economy. The exact mix of your asset allocation is up to you. What matters most is having a stake in assets that can carry you forward, so you don’t feel pressured to chase every hot new opportunity.

I keep the bulk of my public equity investments in broad index funds. Meanwhile, about 40% of my net worth in real estate, and 15% in private companies.With a solid core, it becomes much easier to tune out the noise and ignore the hype cycles.

For example, if AI truly sparks a wave of IPOs, new startups, and thousands of newly minted millionaires, at least my San Francisco real estate should benefit. I recently experienced a rental bidding war for one of my properties and that’s before the AI IPO wave has even arrived. Investing in the picks and shovels helps ensure you will financially benefit, no matter what.

2) Allocate a “FOMO Fund”

Instead of trying to suppress the urge to participate, give yourself permission, but with guardrails. Roughly 40% of my public equities are in individual growth names, mostly tech. This way, when I see headlines about breakthroughs, like quantum computing, I feel like I’m part of the story rather than left on the sidelines. Of course, during the next correction, I will also lose more than the average index fund investor too.

I’ve also carved out a dedicated “FOMO Fund”—about 5% of my overall portfolio—for speculative money. That’s where I can dabble in individual private companies, new venture funds, or even short-term trends. If it pays off, great. If not, it won’t derail my financial plan. By containing the risk, you scratch the itch while protecting your long-term wealth.

3) Systematize Your Investing With Automation

One reason FOMO hits so hard is because investing often feels optional and emotional. A simple antidote: automation. Dollar-cost averaging into index funds, ETFs, individual stocks, or funds removes the decision-making stress. When money flows into the market on a schedule, you don’t sit around debating whether to chase the next hot stock. Instead, you’re already steadily invested, no matter what the headlines say.

For example, after opening a new personal Innovation Fund account earmarked for my kids with $26,000 ($500 bonus if you invest over $25,000), I enrolled in auto-invest at $2,500 a month. It’s enough out of my cash flow to feel involved without feeling strain. One year later, that’s $30,000 invested; after 10 years, $300,000.

Without automation, it’s easy to fall off track because life gets busy. I have over 30 investment accounts to manage between the four of us. Inevitably, I’m going to miss something, which is why automation is so important to free up mental bandwidth.

I’m concerned my kids may have little chance of becoming financially independent on their own in an AI-driven, hyper-competitive world. Therefore, every dollar I automate for them helps reduce that concern, while ensuring their money is working even if I get distracted.

Make investment contributions automatic through monthly auto-investing to help you reduce financial FOMO

4) Use Opportunity Cost as a Filter

Before jumping on the next hot idea, I try to ask: What am I giving up if I do this? Am I sacrificing cash flow, peace of mind, or time with family? Am I risking capital I’ll need in five years for housing, education, or flexibility? During bear markets, I certainly get a little more moody. By forcing yourself to weigh trade-offs, you realize some FOMO-driven decisions don’t actually pass the test. I

As someone who enjoys investing more than spending, this opportunity cost exercise often flips for me. I tend to think instead: What is the opportunity cost of spending money on something I don’t really need versus the potential returns if I invested it? Buying this unnecessary $120,000 Range Rover could turn into $300,000 in five years if invested well!

Still, the reality is that not all investments work out, especially the most speculative ones. Corrections and bear markets are a natural part of investing. Which is why it’s worth asking a different version of the question too: What are the joys I’m giving up today in exchange for an investment that may never pan out? That balance helps keep you grounded, whether you lean toward spending or investing.

Losing Money Quickly

Just look at the Figma IPO. I suspect FOMO drove many investors to pile in on day one, paying $100–$133 a share. Fast forward just a few weeks, and the stock is already down about 40% from its peak. I would much rather have spent $25,000 on a memorable family vacation than invested it in Figma and watched $10,000 vanish in two weeks. YOLO!

Chasing hot IPOs at extraordinary valuations is dangerous, so please be careful. Instead, consider investing in these companies before they go IPO so you can sell to investors who experience maximum FOMO.

Always remind yourself that you can and will lose money when it comes to investing in risk assets. Sometimes, this fact is easy to forget during a bull market.

How to reduce financial FOMO and not chase hot IPO stocks like Figma

5) Define “Enough” Clearly

FOMO often creeps in when you don’t have a clear baseline for what success actually means to you. If your target is always a vague “more,” then no matter how much progress you make, someone else will always appear to be ahead – whether it’s their bigger house, higher net worth, or latest hot investment. That mindset makes contentment impossible.

What helps is defining enough. For me, that’s when passive income reliably covers our family’s basic living expenses. Once that box is checked, every dollar beyond is truly optional. I can put it toward growth investments, donate it, or try to spend it guilt-free on experiences.

After I hit a passive income target, I try and shift my mindset back toward an early retirement lifestyle. This means less striving, more enjoying. Anchoring to “enough” quiets the noise, and reminds me that I’ve already got enough.

Once you know your number and can sustain your lifestyle, you realize chasing endlessly isn’t freedom, it’s another form of bondage.

6) Change Your Environment

Finally, FOMO isn’t just about the markets, it’s about the people around you. Living in go-getter cities like San Francisco or New York means you’re constantly surrounded by the most ambitious and competitive people. Many of whom are making big money in tech, finance, or startups. The conversations, the headlines, even the birthday gatherings, it all feeds into a sense that you’re in this constant battle where you’re often falling behind.

One way to dial that back is to physically change your environment. Moving to, or even spending extended time in, a slower-paced city or town gives you space to breathe. Suddenly, not everyone is talking about the latest IPO or AI fundraise. Conversations shift to family, community, or quality of life.

It doesn’t mean giving up ambition or opportunity, you can still build wealth anywhere. But by lowering the ambient noise of competition, you reduce the constant comparison game that fuels financial FOMO.

Final Thoughts On Getting Rid Of FOMO

Markets will always swing from euphoria to despair, and there will always be someone making more money than you. But with a sound core portfolio, a small space to take punts, and a clear definition of enough, you can stay disciplined while still scratching the investing itch.

FOMO doesn’t disappear, but with the right systems, it can be managed so it doesn’t manage you.

Readers, do you experience financial FOMO? If not, how do you manage it so you don’t feel like you’re constantly missing out on financial gains? Interestingly, the vast majority of people I speak with in real life say they don’t really struggle with financial FOMO. That makes me curious — what strategies do you use to tame this beast?

Invest in AI So You Don’t Get Left Behind

AI is set to disrupt the labor market in a massive way, for you and for your kids. One way to hedge against that disruption is to invest in AI itself.

With Fundrise’s venture capital product, you can gain exposure to leading private AI companies like OpenAI, Anthropic, Databricks, Anduril, and more. The minimum investment is just $10, and new accounts currently get a $100–$200 bonus.

I recently opened a new account for my children with $26,000 and will auto-invest $2,500 a month for the foreseeable future. My hope is that by riding the AI wave, they’ll benefit from the very disruption that might otherwise work against them.

Fundrise is a long-time sponsor of Financial Samurai, and Financial Samurai is an investor in Fundrise products. Our investment philosophies are aligned. Overall, I’ve invested more than $350,000 in Fundrise Venture.

Fundrise Innovation Fund Financial Samurai investment amount and dashboard - Overcoming FOMO in AI by investing in AI — My current Fundrise Venture investment dashboard, excluding the $26,000 I recently invested for my children

Pick up a copy of my USA TODAY national bestseller, Millionaire Milestones: Simple Steps to Seven Figures. I’ve distilled over 30 years of financial experience to help you build more wealth than 94% of the population and break free sooner. When you’re ahead, that FOMO starts to disappear.

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