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The End of Allowing Yourself to Feel Bad

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When Feeling Bad Is No Longer Allowed

After receiving significant criticism for my post, Embrace Living Paycheck-To-Paycheck To One Day Be Free, I find myself contemplating the existence of a net worth level that brings about serenity and inner peace, prohibiting one from feeling troubled. Is there a financial threshold beyond which emotional turmoil becomes unacceptable?

Despite my attempt to turn a challenging financial situation into a source of motivation, critics vehemently argued that certain emotions like worry, anxiety, and stress should no longer be experienced once a certain net worth is attained.

The contention arose when some insisted that living paycheck-to-paycheck should only be attributed to those facing both cash flow and balance sheet problems. Someone truly in such a dire situation must work multiple jobs and also must feel a level of despair so deep that prohibitive thoughts start entering their minds.

It seems the debate extends beyond the numbers to encompass the nuanced interplay of emotions and financial well-being.

Net Worth Threshold When You Can No Longer Feel Bad

The primary metric we’ll use to assess when negative emotions must stop is the single variable of net worth.

Annual income won’t serve as a determinant, as critics argue that an income problem alone doesn’t qualify as living paycheck-to-paycheck, even though that’s its most pure definition.

Besides, we already know that earning over $500,000 a year brings about supreme happiness. Just look at the chart below. 100% of people who make over $500,000 are “very happy”! I’m surprised the professors haven’t won a Nobel prize yet.

ideal income to be happy

While only using net worth simplifies the evaluation, the challenge lies in navigating the nuanced factors influencing one’s right to feel troubled about their financial situation.

Although this might seem like a strange exercise since we can’t help how we feel, society arbitrarily determines many things, such as who gets preferential treatment in college admissions or who gets hired for the most coveted jobs.

Let’s start the exercise!

Net worth between Negative to $300,000: OK to feel bad all the time

Based on the latest U.S. Survey of Consumer Finances, the median household net worth in America was approximately $192,000 in 2022. If your net worth falls within the range of negative to $300,000, it’s reasonable to experience constant feelings of financial distress.

You have the green light to publicly vent about all your problems to the world, e.g. the drive through line at McDonald’s is ridiculous, let me talk to the manager! With a negative net worth, you will gain more empathy from people who are willing to listen to your issues and provide advice.

Net worth up to $1.5 million: OK to feel bad most of the time

The Consumer Finance Survey also notes the average household net worth in America was $1.06 million in 2022. Considering a ~50% buffer, it’s acceptable to occasionally feel down about your finances with a net worth of about $1.5 million and under.

Given most people are average, nobody hates on average people or those slightly above average. In fact, there’s a great sense of comfort being part of the majority. As a majority, you can take credit for what a minority came up with because you simply got them outnumbered.

Net worth between $1.51 – $3 million: Can only feel bad sometimes

Surpassing the $1.5 million net worth threshold places you in the mass affluent class in America. With a net worth exceeding $1.5 million, you outrank over 80% of the population. Empathy from the majority diminishes, making it acceptable for you to commiserate only on occasion.

To avoid appearing ungrateful or entitled, you can only feel troubled once every six months. If you dare display any more than one negative emotion semi-annually, you might get on a secret list of entitled complainers.

Net worth above $3 million: Can no longer feel bad if you live in a non-coastal city

Reaching a net worth of $3 million marks the onset of true millionaire status due to inflation. At this level of wealth, few people will empathize with your problems. If you reside in a non-coastal city, crossing the $3 million threshold implies you must endure challenges in silence, as your experiences may be difficult for others to relate to.

If you live in a non-coastal city, once your net worth breaches $3 million, you are not allowed to feel any pain or suffering. There is an expectation that you manage your struggles privately.

Have a disloyal wife who provides no emotional support? Divorce her, you can afford it. Have to work 60 hours a week under constant stress? You’re lucky to make so much money and have so much responsibility. You kids got bullied by the cool kids? Tell them to suck it up!

If you live in an expensive coastal city like New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Boston, and Seattle, you are still allowed to feel bad once every six months given the cost of living is so much higher. However, anymore and you risk being ostracized by your community.

On your social media channels or when you’re talking to others publicly, you must always display a positive face and share how good everything is. Never show any weakness or negative emotion or else the piranhas will begin to bite.

Net worth above $13 million: Not allowed to feel bad anymore

Surpassing the $13+ million net worth threshold in 2024, a top 1% net worth, eliminates the right to feel troubled. Regardless of health, marital, or family problems, possessing wealth greater than 99% of the population implies a capacity to address all issues with money.

Given we live in an ultra-competitive society, nobody will give two licks about your suffering. They assume struggles at this level are self-inflicted, and blame rests solely on the individual.

Finnish people aren’t allowed to feel sad given Finland consistently ranks as one of the happiest countries in the world. Can you imagine getting angry at paying for a bland Karelian hot pot when joy is all around?

Happiest countries in the world
Source: World Happiness Report

Reduce Sharing Your Troubles Publicly

If you share publicly that you’re doing well, people will tear you down. If you share publicly that you’re struggling, people will call you an idiot or worse. Therefore, if you want to minimize emotional fatigue, you had best keep silent about most of the things you’re doing and feeling.

If you have a high net worth and want more “credits” to be able to acknowledge the troubles you are feeling, then share them privately, preferably with people of your same socioeconomic class. Envy is a human condition.

There Will Always Be Challenges No Matter How Wealthy You Are

Sadly, money won’t solve all your problems. On the contrary, the more money you have, the more problems may occur. People may come out of the woodwork and start wanting something from you. With more money, you might end up buying more things you don’t need, which end up weighing you down. You might also have a more complicated estate with a lot more headaches the wealthier you get.

But until you accumulate more wealth, I’m not sure you’ll believe me.

Related posts:

The Rise Of Stealth Wealth

How To Convince People You Are Middle Class When You’re Not

Reader Questions And Suggestions

At what levels of net worth should a person no longer be able to feel troubled? Put it differently, how poor do you have to be to never be judged or criticized for your situation or actions? When do you think you’ll feel net worth serenity? What are some other arbitrary rules we can create to dictate who gets to feel and do what?

If you want to better track your net worth and spending, check out Empower, the best free wealth management tool today. I’ve used Empower since 2012 to track everything to tremendous benefit.

Listen and subscribe to The Financial Samurai podcast on Apple or Spotify. I interview experts in their respective fields and discuss some of the most interesting topics on this site. Your reviews are appreciated.

For more nuanced personal finance content, join 60,000+ others and sign up for the free Financial Samurai newsletter. Financial Samurai is one of the largest independently-owned personal finance sites that started in 2009. 

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