
If you wish to make an upcoming birthday a enjoyable and lighthearted celebration then right now’s publish will assist you out.
In it I wish to share 91 of the wittiest and most humorous birthday quotes about youth, getting old and life.
Use one or a few them in a card, in a textual content or a social media publish on for instance Instagram.
Or just use one among them in your birthday speech to your pal, sister, brother, coworker or whoever you’re celebrating to make them snicker and make their special occasion much more enjoyable.
Table of Contents
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Mates (and Your Greatest Good friend)
“You might be solely younger as soon as, however you possibly can keep immature indefinitely.”
– Ogden Nash
“I consider you forgot my birthday current final yr, so now I’m returning the favor. Completely happy Birthday!”
– Unknown
“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and someone’s drunk within the kitchen.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years expertise.”
– Unknown
“Wanting fifty is nice – for those who’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers
“Inside each older particular person is a youthful particular person – questioning what the hell occurred.”
– Jennifer Yane
“Life is a reasonably good play with a badly written third act.”
– Truman Capote
“The older you get, the higher you get. Until you’re a banana.”
– Betty White
“The key of staying younger is to dwell truthfully, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball
“Age is strictly a case of thoughts over matter. Should you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny
“Birthdays are nature’s manner of telling us to eat extra cake.”
– Unknown
“A pal by no means defends a husband who will get his spouse an electrical skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Age is just not vital except you’re a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes
“I’m at an age when my again goes out greater than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I consider in loyalty. When a girl reaches an age she likes, she ought to keep it up.”
– Eva Gabor
“My grandmother began strolling 5 miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know the place the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres
“Finally you attain some extent whenever you cease mendacity about your age and begin bragging about it.”
– Will Rogers
“The primary hundred years are the toughest.”
– Wilson Mizner
“When a person has a birthday, he takes a time without work. However when my spouse has a birthday, she takes a yr or two off.”
– Joan Rivers
“From delivery to age 18, a lady wants good mother and father. From 18 to 35, she wants attractiveness. From 35 to 55, she wants a great character. From 55 on, she wants good money.”
– Sophie Tucker
Quick and Humorous Birthday Quotes on Getting Older
“ you’re getting outdated when the candles value greater than the cake.”
– Bob Hope
“Age is a matter of thoughts over matter. Should you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain
“You’re in mint situation for a classic mannequin. Completely happy Birthday!”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“Outdated age is like all the pieces else. To make a hit of it, you’ve received to begin younger.”
– Fred Astaire
“Don’t fear about avoiding temptation. As you get older, it is going to keep away from you.”
– Joey Adams
“A diplomat is a person who at all times remembers a girl’s birthday however by no means remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost
“I’ll by no means be an outdated man. To me, outdated age is at all times 15 years older than I’m.”
– Francis Bacon
“Simply keep in mind, when you’re over the hill you start to select up velocity.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer
“I used to be introduced as much as respect my elders, so now I don’t need to respect anyone.”
– George Burns
“There may be nonetheless no remedy for the widespread birthday.”
– John Glenn
“ you’ve aged whenever you learn occasions you lived in a historical past guide.”
– Will Ferrell
“Age is a quantity and mine is unlisted.”
– Unknown
“Rising outdated is obligatory; rising up is optionally available.”
– Chili Davis
“ you’re getting outdated whenever you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See for those who can blow this out.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld
“Center age is whenever you nonetheless consider you’ll really feel higher within the morning.”
– Bob Hope
“As you become old, three issues occur. The primary is your reminiscence goes, and I can’t keep in mind the opposite two.”
– Norman Knowledge
“ you’re getting outdated when all the pieces hurts. And what doesn’t damage doesn’t work.”
– Hy Gardner
“You might be solely younger as soon as, however you could be immature for a lifetime.”
– John Grier
“The whole lot that goes up should come down. However there comes a time when not all the pieces that’s down can come up.”
– George Burns
“We don’t develop outdated. Once we stop to develop, we change into outdated.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Girls on Growing older Gracefully
“Like many ladies my age, I’m 28 years outdated.”
– Mary Schmich
“Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.”
– Anna Magnani
“I don’t want you to remind me of my age. I’ve a bladder to try this for me.”
– Stephen Fry
“At all times be good to your kids as a result of they’re those who will select your relaxation dwelling.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I don’t plan to develop outdated gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts till my ears meet.”
– Rita Rudner
“ you’ve reached center age whenever you’re cautioned to decelerate by your physician, as a substitute of by the police.”
– Joan Rivers
“A very good rule to recollect for all times is that on the subject of cosmetic surgery and sushi, by no means be attracted by a discount.”
– Graham Norton
“Folks say, ‘The way you keep trying so younger?’ I say, effectively, good lighting, good docs, and good make-up.”
– Dolly Parton
“My face carries all my recollections. Why would I erase them?”
– Diane von Furstenberg
“Growing older appears to be the one obtainable approach to dwell an extended life.”
– Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I’ve received so many wrinkles; I must be sponsored by a prune firm!”
– Unknown
“Wrinkles ought to merely point out the place the grins have been.”
– Mark Twain
“Hear. I want I might inform you it will get higher. However, it doesn’t get higher. You get higher.”
– Joan Rivers
“Growing older gracefully means being versatile, being open, permitting change, having fun with change, and loving your self.”
– Wendy Whelan
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Males on the Inevitable Adjustments in Life
“A stockbroker urged me to purchase a inventory that may triple its worth yearly. I advised him, ‘At my age, I don’t even purchase inexperienced bananas.’”
– Claude Pepper
“A person has reached center age when he’s warned to decelerate by his physician as a substitute of the police.”
– Henry Youngman
“Once I was a boy the Lifeless Sea was solely sick.”
– George Burns
“Center age is when your broad thoughts and slim waist start to vary locations.”
– E. Joseph Cossman
“You’re solely as outdated as the girl you are feeling.”
– Groucho Marx
“Anybody could be assured with a full head of hair. However a assured bald man – there’s your diamond within the tough.”
– Larry David
“In center age, the soul must be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage.”
– John Andrew Holmes
“Center age is the awkward interval when Father Time begins catching up with Mom Nature.”
– Harold Coffin
“I’m more than happy to be right here. Let’s face it, at my age, I’m more than happy to be wherever.”
– George Burns
“Center age is whenever you’re confronted with two temptations and also you select the one that can get you dwelling by 9 o’clock.”
– Ronald Reagan
“I imply, I’m not a child anymore. I might go tomorrow. And I hope I’m going tomorrow. I haven’t gone right now but.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“Life’s a brief journey. You’ll discover out.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“I’ve been in remedy. I do know sufficient about myself now to know that I actually don’t have to know anymore.”
– Larry David
“Center age is whenever you’ve met so many individuals that each new particular person you meet reminds you of another person.”
– Ogden Nash
“The one approach to maintain your well being is to eat what you don’t need, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d relatively not.”
– Mark Twain
“Completely happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s sensible, humorous, and handsome, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all of your finest qualities.”
– Good/Sensible Little one
“Outdated age is whenever you resent the swimsuit concern of Sports activities Illustrated as a result of there are fewer articles to learn.”
– George Burns
“I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.”
– George Carlin
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Coworkers
“Why is a birthday cake the one meals you possibly can blow on and spit on, and all people rushes to get a bit?”
– Bobby Kelton
“Yearly on my birthday, I begin a brand new playlist titled after my present age so I can maintain observe of my favourite songs of the yr as a kind of musical diary as a result of I’m a teenage lady.”
– Chris Hardwick
“Because of fashionable medical advances comparable to antibiotics, nasal spray, and Food regimen Coke, it has change into routine for individuals within the civilized world to move the age of 40, typically greater than as soon as.”
– Dave Barry
“True terror is to get up one morning and uncover that your highschool class is working the nation.”
– Kurt Vonnegut
“The aim of life is to take all the pieces that made you bizarre as a child and get individuals to pay you cash for it whenever you’re older.”
– David Freeman
“ you’re getting outdated when all of the names in your black guide have M.D. after them.”
– Harrison Ford
“We might actually gradual the getting old course of down if it needed to work its manner by means of Congress.”
– Will Rogers
“At my age, flowers scare me.”
– George Burns
“Preventing getting old is just like the Warfare on Medicine. It’s costly, does extra hurt than good, and has been confirmed to by no means finish.”
– Amy Poehler
“The getting old course of is just not gradual or light. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing.”
– John Mortimer
“I used to be eager about how individuals appear to learn the Bible much more as they become old, after which it dawned on me – they’re cramming for his or her closing examination.”
– George Carlin
“Outdated age comes at a foul time.”
– San Banducci
“Don’t let getting old get you down. It’s too exhausting to get again up.”
– John Wagner
“Center age is whenever you’re sitting at dwelling on a Saturday evening and the phone rings, and also you hope it isn’t for you.”
– George Burns
“We don’t cease enjoying as a result of we develop outdated. We develop outdated as a result of we cease enjoying.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“If I’d identified I used to be going to dwell this lengthy, I’d have taken higher care of myself.”
– Eubie Blake
“I’ve too many wrinkles to have this little cash!”
– Cathy Guisewite
“ you’re getting outdated whenever you stoop to tie your shoelaces and surprise what else you are able to do whilst you’re down there.”
– George Burns
“It’s true, some wine improves with age. However provided that the grapes have been good within the first place.”
– Abigail Van Buren
Need extra inspiration for celebrations arising quickly? Then try these inspirational birthday quotes, the short birthday quotes on this publish and the inspirational wedding quotes right here. Plus, this one with short wedding quotes.